Before you say “I DO”

 For “this reason” will “a man” leave his father and mother and cleave to “his wife” .Genesis 2:24

While writing this article I had to consider a great many issues regarding marriage ,including my own marriage ,that of my parents and those couples that I have close relationship with .I had to determine at the conclusion of careful self examination ,what kind of message I wanted to convey to you as the reader ,most especially those of you on the verge of declaring the words of eternal consequence that many so glibly say ,”I do” .Did I want to give the impression that I know all there is to know about marriage ,that I did all the right things before I got married ,did I want you to believe that I had the perfect marriage and therefore had all the answers for all of you to have perfect marriages too? Absolutely not! The focus of this article is to establish and stress that all of us have to determine that marriage is not just the way for two people to be joined together , but it is undoubtedly “GODS WAY” for two people to stay together .We cannot  be whimsical about our reasons for getting married ,since it is a union created by God ,for God to last forever .I had to ask myself whether I had any regrets whatsoever concerning my journey to  the altar and beyond ,if I had to do it all over again ,would I do things differently ,would I want to be more prepared for marriage ,would I have a more extended courtship or would I tie the knot sooner? It would be quite naïve to assume that there aren’t countless many married couples, young and old all over the world who encounter similar questions on a daily basis.

So! Do I have any regrets, this would be the burning question? Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful marriage but I regret not having made the decision to marry this wonderful person God gave me sooner .I regret not having equipped myself sufficiently with the fundamental principles of what relationships and marriage looked like through the “eyes of God”, as this would have prevented me from making all those unnecessary mistakes .You however, can avoid saying, “if only” and here is how.


Four essential questions to ask yourself  before you say “I do”.

1 .Did I ask God if this is “His will” for my life?

You see ,He cannot be “for it” ,if He is not “in it” .Consider Exodus 33:15,”then Moses said to Him(God),if your presence does not go with us , do not send us up from here” .The Message translation says it like this ,” if You (God) did not plan the journey ,please call the trip off .It is that simple .

2. Why am I getting married and why now?

Some individuals especially those from the female gender get married to leave home because of issues   . If this is you, move out if you have to, but don’t you dare get married.

3. Am I ready to get married?

Marriage is nothing like buying a vehicle ,once you say “ I do” ,that is it ,you can’t return him/her for a new one ,you’re stuck with your purchase for life .So make very sure you’re ready to make this life changing decision.

4. And finally, Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?

Enough said!!

If the answers to these questions are,”I am not sure”, postpone the wedding and make very sure.

If your answer is ,”I don’t know “ ,call the whole thing off and run as fast and as far as you can because you are about to make the biggest mistake of your God- ordained  life.


Some call marriage an institution (an established law), but it is more than just an established law, that is why I choose to call it what God call it,”a covenant (an agreement) .He said “My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone from my lips Psalm 89:34 .Everything God does is eternal (forever) and we who truly follow Him are expected and commanded to do the same.

My 84 year old father and 76 year old mother have been married for close onto 60 years and despite negative global divorce statistics they still serve as a reminder and faithfully remain living proof that “marriage works” and is absolutely wonderful. If I had the chance to do it all over again I would still say,”I do…I do… oh yes indeed …I do.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s